OK, so being married for some time, I have started to understand the vernacular of the female species. This is not to say that I understand women in general, only that I have figured out 9 words/phrases they use and honestly that's about it. I know a lot of ladies read this blog, but you should pass this along to your husbands/boyfriends so they can benefit from my experiences.
(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)
(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says "Thanks a lot" - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say "you're welcome" ... that will bring on a "whatever").
(8) Whatever: Is a women's way of saying and thinking anything and everything bad about you.
(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "What's wrong?" For the woman's response refer to # 3.
IN RESPONSE TO A COMMENT ABOUT MY POST--
CHRIS WROTE THIS!!!!!
Thursday, October 09, 2008
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5 comments:
I've seen this before, but I never can get over how funny and TRUE it is! We woman are funny in our thinking, aren't we? I think I've done at least half of those...if not more! I think we should write one for men though....
Let it be known that Chris thinks he's a funny guy with some of these posts lately -- he needs to identify himself as the poster when he's sharing his "wisdom" :)
Chris,
As a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and a PhD in Marriage and Family Therapy, I give my two thumbs up to thist list--purely professional, though, I am not saying anything about Larissa, of course.
I am laughing so hard right now. This post is awesome!! I may have to steal it and put it on my blog at some point!
And again I just have to say to Chris WHATEVER!!
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